Am currently listening to one of the greatest songs ever--Vienna by BJ.
Uuuhh yesterday I sat on my ass for hours, then went to the pool and got my assed kicked by 6 years who like, actually know how to swim. Not my fuckin' fault I failed 2nd level swimming twice. I'm afraid to put my face in the water--seeing Jaws too many times is probably to blame. DAMN YOURS STEPHEN SPEILBERGGGGGGGG.
Today was class. lots and lots of class. Nothing super exciting, it was quite a boring day actually, until none of my students could figure out how many states there are in the USA. I was literally on my ass laughing to death. Dumb french shits!! AKA I love them, HA.
I spoke to my little American girl and in true American fashion we made fun of all things french and british, and basically anything that isn't us. ITS THE AMERICAN WAY. I did some food shopping, then came home and almost MURDERED.
Okay heres the deal. I am applying for grad school, so I need to request transcripts. I call campus safety because really what else are they good for except to forward my calls? Two million people later I get a message, so I say fuck it and dial 0 to get a real person, and by real person I mean FUCKING MORON. Dear Union College, how will you ever be an Ivy League if you can't accept transcript requests online or by phone? And do your employees even have to take IQ tests?!?!
Liz: Is there any other way to submit a transcript request except by mail?
Lady: Did you listen to the message?
Liz: Well yes I did but the thing is I am living in France
Lady: Oh. Well that's a problem.
Liz: Yes, yes I guess it is.
Lady: Well you will just have to mail in your request with the payment. We won't process your request until we get paid.
Liz: Yes, but I am living in France, I have no american money.
Lady: Do you have a checking account or something?
Liz: Uh, yes.
Lady: So write a check or something.
Liz: Uh, what did we not understand? I AM IN FRANCE. Why would I have my US checkbook with me? ARE YOU SLOW?!
Lady: Oh.
Liz: Yes.
I mean come on, I told her a million times I had no US money and she was like "oh well you can fax us the request but you will still need to send us money." WTF MATE OMG. So now I have to email mom so she can write stupid Union college a stupid check for $12 just because union won't let me give them my fucking credit card number because they wouldn't know what to do with it if it was stuck up there ass and sealed up with wax. OMG MURDER. Dear Registrars office, you are a WASTE of LIFE.
okay deep breaths.
I shall listen to some lovey billy and calm. calm. calm.
ps wheres my mail, bitches?
1 comment:
Um, not to be a mood killer, but ALL schools require that transcript requests be mailed in, or at least faxed, because your school records are supposed to be confidential and released only to you, which means that they need your signature. It's like, a universal privacy rule thing. Otherwise, any idiot on the plant could call or email the school, pretending to be you, and ask for what are supposed to be your confidential school records and get them.
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